The macho aggression of the handshake has to go. It’s time to normalise the high five

In the office, the handshake remains the preferred professional greeting. But I reckon its history holds it back from gender equal application. The handshake was, and to some people still is, a form of domination, a way of proving brute strength with a veneer of civility (think Mark Latham and John Howard, or Vladimir Putin with anyone). A high five, on the other hand, requires both people, regardless of gender, age or circumstance to look like an idiot, which is an excellent equaliser.

And while I appreciate that, historically, it might seem a little informal to high-five at the start of a meeting, there is a lot to be said for having a relaxed and respectful professional environment. Kinda like the collective image we had of Silicon Valley before certain people started going on Joe Rogan and bemoaning the demise of corporate masculinity.

Social situations could benefit from more high fives, too. Even in this day and age, there is a gendered difference in greeting etiquette. It is still common for men to shake hands with men while women are either subjected to cheek kisses or the absence of anything. I, for one, long for the brief high five. So quick! So inclusive! So far away from the mouth!

Which brings me to my last point. You know how a few years ago there was a pandemic and everything went crazy and we all remembered that there are lots of germs in the world and we had all just been wandering around in them and breathing them in and sharing drinks and eating from the ground? Well, the germs still exist!

The high five is so perfect because it is so comparatively hygienic. Whereas the handshake is an invitation to aggressively rub your germs all over someone else, and a kiss is too much face too close to another face, a high five is a cool and crisp – “how long does it take for warts to move from one person’s hand to another?”

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The high five is the perfect beginning of and conclusion to a social chat, a meeting, a swimming lesson. It is a bookend that is both physically appropriate and jovial. So here’s to the undervalued use of this hand gesture: kid-friendly, safety conscious, and just the right amount of glib for a world where nothing matters any more.

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