Should I give a glowing reference to my toxic employee?

It’s also worth considering that although some potential employees may call a referee and expect a phone conversation, others may expect only a written response. If you encounter the latter, Hirst said that “less is more”.

“A reference may simply state the period of employment. No more no less. The absence of commentary speaks volumes.”

Madison agreed, adding that it was worth keeping in mind that whatever you say in the written submission may still be seen by the person you hope to be your ex-colleague. They have the right to access that information under the Privacy Act.

“I conducted many a reference check back when I worked in HR,” Madison said. “It was always interesting when you got the ‘no comment’ type responses.”

If you do get called, and you want to tiptoe inside the incredibly narrow happy medium between telling lies and risking putting a potential employer off, Giles suggested what he termed “vanilla speak”.

That is negative commentary that is so bland it says little other than inferences or question marks. For example, ‘they bring an original perspective on their own worth’ or ‘they are a fearless learner’.

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“Truly, these phrases make me want to throw up – they are used wantonly and with abandon to avoid conflict, recrimination or libel. But, alas, that’s the world we live in: where saying very little may be the best option,” Giles says.

If, like Hirst, the thought of employing extreme euphemism brings bile into your gullet, another alternative suggested by Madison is to tell your difficult colleague that, having reflected on the situation, you feel that being their referee would be a conflict of interest.

Although that conversation may be awkward, you at least remove any need to lie and there’s still some chance your unbearable charge will have resigned before Easter.